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Corporate America Sucks

This post is about why corporate American sucks. I love my life and my work and my family, so I am not some bitter guy, on the contrary. I am an unrepentant capitalist.  However, there is no way you are going to tell me that corporate America does not suck.

Corporate America sucks – Tested

Why does corporate American suck? This is what you will most likely find:

You will be surrounded by jerks. People in corporate America are seeking a lifestyle (bonuses) rather than creating something of real value.  If they could create something of real value they would.  But the reality is they can not for lack of courage or brains.  Hence, you find greed and arrogance ruling the kingdom of corporate America, and the honest hard working guys get knocked around like a corporate pawn. You are a corporate serf who can fly beneath the radar if you are lucky. However, more likely you are a corporate foot soldier who will get medals or sacrificed when needed.

If you look at the people who succeeded in the corporate world – they are losers themselves in life. The reality is they do not have the brains to function in the real world.  They get paid entrepreneurial wages, yet lack creativity and vision.  Usually, they are lifers in the company and have moved up after fifteen years of service. Being a Director or higher means they have essentially abandoned their families for their work and want you to also. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is true. Everyone needs to work, but most high fliers pay the price with their families.

Why would any wife want to send her husband to corporate America? I personally know scores of office romances, that broke marriages. Is it worth the price?

My family is my career.

Mark Biernat

Your corporate service and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

At the start of working for one of these great companies, you will be working 13 hours a day, doing really boring tasks, mostly in excel.  You will be proud that you have become an excel power user and the local office guru will even know some Microsoft Access or database query tool.   Needless to say, what you will be doing will be incredibly boring.

Am I impressed with Excel and Query tools, your ability to reconcile and use formulas in excel in a clever way or your in-depth knowledge of vendor software? This is the pinnacle of your life and intellectual thought? This is what you were created for? Are at the self-actualization point on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with this life in corporate America? I am writing this to inspire you to think about your life.

As you move up, if you make 100k they want blood from you. If you want to fly beneath the radar for 50k you still be in a cube for 9 hours a day, with your boss growling down your neck. 50k is not getting ahead in life by the way. If you have a particular personality you can be a salesman, if that is what you want to do.

Office cubicle life

Most of your life you will be in a cube. Bathroom and water breaks are your primary exercise. Maybe you have flare for interior design in your cube and it looks more interesting than the one next to you, but objectively think about if this. Was this your dream? When you were a child did you dream of becoming a corporate excel power user foot soldiers?

You will become as grey and boring as your sterile workplace

You move up corporate America – Your morals will be compromised
Your personal morals will start to be tested. You will be asked to get more out of your ‘team’ than is reasonable.  People will sacrifice their God-given time on this earth to work for the ‘team’ on a project that will include nights and weekends.  If you are in a billable position you will have more pressure to bill clients more and more for less and less work, otherwise, the partners or directors will not move you to their level. The main thing is people will spend more time with their ‘corporate family’ (it’s ridiculous when companies refer to themselves as ‘family’, its pure manipulation) than their real family.

Directors and Managing Directors will interject swears and strong language at times to motivate people and carry on dramatically to get people to do more. The language and the rude way they carry on is unprofessional but overlooked because everyone needs to get paid.

There is a lot of dishonesty in corporate America. If you are in any position of management you know what I mean, or just read the headlines.

Only One Example of Corporate Immorality

For example, this one high ranked finance director, who chastised me for the style of my footwear, and was known respected for his ‘hardnosed sense of business’ commenting the quality of labor today is not like in his time, in the following months was convicted for child corn (last word modified).

Corporate America sucks

A Corporate warrior’s life  just stinks, is unhealthy and your kids suffer

Office work and your health – People who work for corporate America have a higher rate of depression, divorce, affairs, drinking, gambling, betrayal of friends and trust, etc.  Office workers are fat always waiting for the next sugar rush to relieve their boredom. They look forward to that office birthday party or Friday morning doughnut club or coffee run. You will gain weight and not lose it unless you quit your desk job. Sitting is the worst thing you can do for your health. Your friends who work in the service sector will live longer and be healthier than you.  I have read, that sitting is bad smoking. Why destroy your health, for a few more material things like an upgraded cell plan?

Kids of business men and women are often messed up – Corporate warriors do not see their kids. They are all saying they are saving for their children’s education. However, I would rather spend time with my kids from 0 to 15 when their IQ and social skills are developed, rather than send them off to some famous university. In a word life in corporate America sucks. Is it not better to teach them chess or a language when they are young than work extra at the office?  My theory is, despite the drawings and photos, careerist does not care about their kids.  If they did they would not spend so much time at the office. Maybe if you work for a few years intense, but if you work ten or more years intensely ‘for your family’ it is a lie. Be honest, if you cared you would spend time with them. I read and know personally too many children of families that are spending their time in Corporate America, and they are not raised optimally, to say the least. Many are messed up. In contrast, I do not know too many countryside or Amish children with issues.

Corporate America sucks because it will make you a worse kind of person

I could go on here, but below I started a list of  ABCs. I wanted to do the whole alphabet, but I invite you to add your own comments for additional letters of the alphabet.

  • Arrogance –  People making you feel like they know more than and that you are screwed up. This tactic is especially common with people who are insecure about their own IQ.
  • Belligerence – aggressiveness psychological warfare between people which management sometimes even encourages as a way to see who is better for the job. The most primitive people win.
  • Control – this includes impatience, pettiness, micromanaging your life, with the goal of personal glory from the fruit of your hard work.
  • Dumb – working around people who think they know, will make you start feeling the same and therefore close your mind to new ideas.
  • Envy, ego, and exaggeration in corporate America.

The Rise of the Telecommute

With the latest COVID outbreak, people are tasting life at home because of the new telecommute workplace. Many people like it and are questioning what is the point of these monolithic constructions they traded authentic life for. Some even question if Henry David Thoreau or Walton’s lifestyle is not so crazy after all. This has the establishment concerned as they may be exposed.

There is Good News

If that is the case, we do not have to use our brains to plug into the matrix – beehive and be corporate drones. Let other people chase that societally defined dream with all its laurels leaves set down by a society that idealizes spending your life in a cube. As exiles from the hive – better is to use our brain for things that are more efficient like making money in the market place or a high purpose like bettering humanity.

What are the alternatives to corporate America?

There are many, the US was founded on rugged individualism. There is an infinitive number of ways to live outside or limit yourself to the toxic exposure of corporate America.  From homesteading to being an entrepreneur, to working with your family in a productive endeavor at home.  Develop a skill people really need that will give you the flexibility you need to spend more time with your family.  You do not have to believe in a Jeffersonian America to think out of the box, to make a living. I recommend you start exploring the alternatives, as this will not only make for a better society, but also make you a better person.   Even if you do, choose to stay in corporate America, try not to sacrifice your family time, health and morals for your stupid boss.